This transcript is from a conversation between Matthieu Ricard and Krista Tippett from OnBeing. I find these thought very useful in finding a state of deep contentment beyond the discomfort and trivialities of everyday life.
"People sometimes imagine that constant happiness will be a kind of
euphoria or endless succession of pleasant experiences. But that’s more like a
recipe for exhaustion than happiness.
Pleasure depends very much on circumstances, what triggers it. Then it’s a
sensation, in a way. So sensations change from pleasurable to neutral and to
unpleasurable. I mean even the most pleasurable thing — you eat something very
delicious. Once, it’s delicious. Two, three times, OK. And then ten times, you
get nauseous. You are very cold and shivering. You come near a bonfire, such a
delight. But then, after a few minutes, then you move back. It’s too hot. The
most beautiful music, you hear it five times, 24 hours, it’s a nightmare. And
also, it’s something that basically doesn’t radiate to others. You can
experience pleasure at the cost of others’ suffering. So it’s very vulnerable
to the change of outer circumstances. It doesn’t help you to face the outer
circumstances better.
Now if we think of happiness as a way of being, a way of being that gives
you the resources to deal with the ups and downs of life, that pervades all the
emotional states, including sadness. If we think of sadness as incompatible
with pleasure, but it’s compatible with what? With altruism, with inner
strength, with inner freedom, with sense of direction and meaning in life —
those aren’t sad things. But if you don’t fall in despair, still you maintain
that wholeness and that sense of purpose and meaning.
Happiness can encompass every mental state except those who are just
opposite, which is like despair, hatred, precisely the mental factors that will
destroy inner peace, inner strength, inner freedom. If you are under the grip
of hatred, you are not free. You are the slave of your own thoughts. So that’s
not freedom. Therefore, this is opposite to genuine flourishing and happiness.
So we have to distinguish mental factors which contribute to that way of being,
the cluster of qualities like altruistic love, inner freedom, and so forth from
those who undermine that, which is like jealousy, obsessive desire, hatred,
arrogance. We call that “mental toxins,” because they poison our happiness and
also make us relate to others in a poisonous way. So that’s something that you
can cultivate, unlike pleasure. You don’t cultivate pleasure, but happiness in
that sense is a skill. Because why? Because altruistic love can be developed.
We have the potential for it, but it’s really untapped. All these other
qualities can be enhanced to a more optimal way, and therefore, those are
skills.
The quality of our experience can easily eclipse the other conditions. Not
that the other conditions don’t matter — don’t mistake for that. I mean it’s
infinitely desirable that we provide to others, and to ourselves, conditions
for survival. There are so many people in this world that cannot feed their
kids. It’s unacceptable. So anything that can be done should be done, and it’s
a joke if we don’t do it. I mean we are failing all principles of basic
morality.
But yet, we should acknowledge at the same time that you can be miserable in
a little paradise, have everything, so-called, to be happy, and be totally
depressed and a wreck within. And you can maintain this kind of joy of being
alive and sense of compassion even in the worst possible scenario, because the
way you translate that into happiness or misery, that’s the mind who does that.
And the mind is that which experiences everything, from morning till evening.
That’s your mind that translates the outer circumstances either into a sense of
happiness, strength of mind, inner freedom or enslavement. So your mind can be
your best friend, also your worst enemy, and it’s the spoiled brat of the mind
needs to be taken care of, which we don’t do. We vastly underestimate the power
of transformation of mind and its importance in determining the quality of
every instant of our life.
Outward circumstances are important, I should do whatever I can. But I
should certainly see that at the root of all that, there are inner
circumstances, inner conditions. What are they? Well, just look at you. Now if
I say, “OK, come, we’ll spend a weekend cultivating jealousy,” now who is going
to go for that? We all know that, even say, “Well, that’s part of human
nature,” but we are not interested in cultivating more jealousy, neither for
hatred, neither for arrogance. So those will be much better off if they were
not — didn’t have such a grip on our mind. So there are ways to counteract
those, to dissolve those. I mean you cannot, in the same moment of thought,
wish to do something good to someone or to harm that person. So those are mutually
incompatible, like hot and cold water. So the more you will bring benevolence
in your mind at every of those moments, there’s no space for hatred.
That’s just very simple, but we don’t do that. We do exercise every morning,
20 minutes, to be fit. We don’t sit for 20 minutes to cultivate compassion. If
we were to do so, our mind will change, our brain will change. What we are will
change. So those are skills. They need to be, first, identified, then,
cultivated. What is good to learn chess? Well, you have to practice and all
that. In the same way, we all have thoughts of altruistic love. Who doesn’t
have that? But they come and go. We don’t cultivate them. Do you learn to piano
by playing 20 seconds every two weeks? This doesn’t work. So why, by what kind
of mystery, some of the most important qualities of human beings will be
optimal just because you wish so? Doesn’t make any sense.
 |
| Matthieu Ricard - monk extraordinaire |
I have a friend who is 63 years old. He used to be a runner when he was
young. He gave up running. Now a few years ago, he started again. He said,
“When I started again, I could not run more than five minutes without panting
for breath.” Now last week, he ran the Montreal Marathon at 63. He had the
potential, but it was useless until he actualized it. So the same potential we
have for mind training, but if we don’t do anything, it’s not going to happen
because we wish so.
We need to put that in action, in a way. “Action” doesn’t mean frantically
running around all day long — which I have unfortunately been doing a bit too
much — but exemplifying that in our life. So that’s what led me — my only
regret, some years ago, was not to have hands on, trying to serve others. So
when I had the possibility of doing that, I jumped into that, and I’m
absolutely grateful and delighted that I can. Now we have — we treat 100,000
patients in the Himalayas, India, Tibet, and Nepal. We have 15 kids in the
school that we built. It’s not huge, compared to some other big organizations,
but at least we did our best. So my motto, in a way, will be to transform
yourself to better serve others.
If you see the humanity in the world, grains of
sand that bring everything to a halt, it’s corruption, clashes of egos — human
factors more than resources. So how to avoid that? There is a lack of human
maturity. So it’s not a vain or futile exercise to perfect yourself to some
extent before you serve others. Otherwise, it’s like cutting the wheat when
it’s still green, and nobody is fed by that. So we need a minimum of readiness
to efficiently and wisely be at the service of others. So compassion needs also
to be enlightened by wisdom. Otherwise, it’s blind.
“True action, good and radiant action, my friends, does not
spring from activity, from busy bustling, it does not spring from industrious
hammering. It grows in the solitude of the mountains, it grows on the summits
where silence and danger dwell.” 
