Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Cambodia on a String

I originally spoke to a coordinator at the school in Cambodia. She sounded excited about our interest and offered many promising incentives: a place to stay, free transportation, free food - the school chef would even prepare Western meals if we liked, a small stipend to help with other costs, and contacts at other NGOS.

The offer sounded great, so I agreed and tried to get this side of the world organized. She was gracious and allowed us to take our time. Unfortunately now that flexibility has come to claim me - as I should have known it would. None of these offers were hers to make and her most recent email has so graciously offered to set me up at a 400-dollar-a-month hotel.

I have been passed over to Nader, the director. I'm trying not to wig out.

This seems to be a lesson I am meant to learn, similar happened with the school newspaper. I spent the last month making plans for my entire class to be published in the final issue with the media editor only to learn in the final hours that I should've been talking to someone else who had the say. Sorry class.

Note to self.  & Let the adventure begin.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The Love and Leaving

The decision to go has had an oscillating presence in our lives. More grandiose than I would like, more understated than is probably wise, more emotional than I anticipated, but all together probably the same amount of teeth-clenching turmoil that precedes any big change.

I find it peculiar, being in love is at once the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but at the same time the most important and fulfilling (of course). Idealists studying film will say that finding love is the happy ending, but I tend to think that media is preaching a fantasy and causing girls to build of castles in the clouds, where love could never reach. There are plenty of superficial relationships fashioned out of convenience, economics, lust, material well-being, appearances, etc but to connect with another human being so deeply that you feel what they feel, that you love every metaphysical inch of them not because it is still good-times, but because you’ve invested time and energy to understand where it came from, how it evolved, how it fits into the total dynamic of a human being - this what we seek. It's no easy task, and it doesn't really translate to film anyway.